Get Ready, Set...

In 1999, my fellowship in the University used this theme – “Get ready” for our annual conference ahead of the entry into the new millennium. I still remember a part of the song as I write this and the other memories. However I think we should have taken a cue from that meeting that not only into a new millennium must one get ready but at all times like the boys scout motto.

When the recently concluded Project Fame Reality show sponsored by MTN was about rounding off, I just thought to myself, it is not possible these guys woke up one day and started singing. They didn’t just walk to the audition centers to take a chance at it, truth is, they must have been singing before then. Some might have been in some choir or group before they took on the opportunity, some might have been singing in their bathroom or miming some of their favourite artistes’ songs in their rooms with a comb as the microphone, but one thing is for sure, they were doing some form of singing before Project Fame came by. Trust me, those who seem to have gained popularity today were once in “oblivion” getting ready.

On the reverse, we had an incidence recently of testing a driver for a job opportunity and my goodness I wondered if he really was ever a driver. His excuse – he had not driven for 6 months and wasn’t used to an Automatic Gear System. But this is supposed to be the skill he exchanges for income, why wasn’t he prepared?

Many of us have different things we aspire for ourselves in life depending on the phase we are in. it could be getting married, getting a particular job, winning a talent show, winning an election, becoming a public speaker and motivating people, starting a business and so many others I have not listed; but beyond aspiring what are you doing ahead of that opportunity coming up? Some people call it luck, but what would one call preparedness meeting an opportunity, I think it is more than luck.

My resolution therefore and challenge is this, don’t wait till that opportunity comes before you go for it, you may not be up to standard since you have not prepared yourself or rehearsed for it; start going for it now. Find out from others who have got there or made it, read books on it, surf the net for related information, learn the new model of that technology, start dressing like it (if you can), talking like it, get that proposal ready, volunteer to learn beside someone, offer to show your skill (without pay if possible)…whatever you need to do, just be on your marks, get ready, to go.

“The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained in a sudden
flight; but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the
night.”

Going Beyond "I'm Sorry"

I was in a vehicle with someone recently and as usual we were discussing issues, personal experiences and those we had heard about. Somewhere along the line, she made mention of a “cold war” recently resolved between herself and someone close to her.

As usual, or more often than not, as occurs in conflicts, both parties felt in the right and felt were owed the apology. Of course, things dragged a while, till that inner voice desiring peace compelled her to take the first step towards apologizing and eventually reconciling. And just prior to that time, she had almost decided there was no going forward with that friendship. In essence what could have led to a complete break in a relationship was handled maturely and they are better off for it.

For me, I have also had my share of tough times with friends, colleagues, acquaintances and all, but I learnt early the place of talking things over. It does a lot. Again I emphasise - it does a lot. Issues or conflicts can be handled in many ways, you could pretend it is not there, run away from it, let out your mind angrily or deal with it maturely.

Pretending it’s not there, would be falsehood. Truth is it’ll gradually pile up and gradually eat away at the foundation till one day, when something seemingly small makes the whole fall apart. Running away from it, would be cowardice. Truth is in life, certain things will keep occurring even at our new locations of escape till we deal with it and have the skill to handle it right. To let out your mind angrily would be destructive, you’ll say things you’ll regret, you’ll do things you can’t mend and hurt the dear one.

My take – deal with it maturely. It wouldn’t enough to just say sorry. Anyone can say sorry and not really be sincere about it. I’ll say, go a step further to make sure you talk about it. Why? Talking heals, it allows you to see where all concerned are coming from, what exactly went wrong and sometimes how badly hurt those concerned were. Essentially it naturally keeps you on the alert about what to look out for before such repeats itself, you know each other better and many times can boldly tell someone else what that person wouldn’t take, you become an advocate.

Sometimes talking over may not be immediate, simply apologizing could do for that time. But when you can sense it is right, do the talking. I have done some talking over for some conflicts I’ve faced, for some others, I await the right time. Besides what’s life really about if not in loving and relationships, lets live then and keep those relationships alive and healthy.

What you’re looking for...

Some while ago I asked the young lady staying with me to look for a particular napkin that we used mostly for my baby, or well, he’s more of a toddler now. I gave her the colour to remind her and left her to the search while I did something else. Minutes passed and then I checked on her, and was somewhat taken aback that she was yet to locate it. And then it actually dawned on me, does she know what she is looking for, so I had to ask her, “Do you know what you are looking for?”

While I pondered over this later that morning it struck me that the same problem affects us all in life. Do we really know what it is we are looking for? Truth is, knowing exactly what you’re looking for prevents you from missing it when it comes your way and to know exactly where to get it.

Taking you back to the napkin search for instance, if this young lady had remembered the exact napkin, she’ll recall it had been washed, ironed and kept. The challenge would now be to know where it wouldn’t have been kept and search the more likely places first. But as it were, she was checking anywhere possible for something that may match what I needed.

In relationships for instance, particularly one that could lead to marriage, my counsel had always been to know the kind of spouse you want. Many say it’s not nice to be too rigid, but truth is, if you can’t stand for your choice and wait for it, you’ll probably settle for anyone. Before I met my husband, I had a list of the must have’s for instance (maybe what many ladies would want though), God fearing, God loving, Intelligent, Caring and yeah with a good sense of humour. With God’s favour, when he came by, I knew it. The same would go for a job, an opportunity to bless, even material things like houses, cars et al.

If you don’t want to miss that thing when it comes, if you want to be able to sift through the available options quickly, if you want to know where you can start your search, then take time out to itemize the description or quality of what you’re looking for. You may need to even prioritize the list where applicable and probably ask around from valid sources (for me this includes God often), and on many occasions I have found what I was looking for. Taking this back to you…What are you looking for?

A Legacy

Within the past 2/3 weeks, 2 well known people to me have passed on. One is the popular king of pop – Michael Jackson and the other a mum to a good friend of the family. Both news came with shock for me, because they were unexpected. Really, death is an unexpected event. Despite the fact that we all know one day we’ll leave this world, yet that “day “ is unknown.
These ones and many who have gone before them would have left such gaps in the hearts and lives of those who knew and loved them, but more especially memories and experiences. It has made me ponder therefore that what kind of memory and experience would we leave behind after we are gone? What legacy would we be passing on to those coming after?
Even if the day comes long after some of us may desire, our every day now must matter. Truth is, some things we do or say that may seem unimportant may be making such significant impressions in the life of that person we may not know or be related to, who will meet us or come in contact with us. So our conscious daily living would have to go beyond those we are related to us or those we know. Michael for instance never knew who Bukola Ogunfayo was, but I was a fan of his while growing up and particularly like the ‘...do you remember the time...” musical video and a few others he released. Also, this mum of our friend never had much interaction with me, but I recall her using her laptop at our friend’s on a visit to their house once and I was impressed that someone of the older generation was familiar with such tool.
How have you lived your life thus far, and what legacy would you want to leave behind? What would you like to be remembered for after you no longer walk this earth? I have reached, before now, a point of trying to affect lives positively, that led me to starting FOOTSTEPS, but I’m further challenged t o do more. To live better, to respond better, to talk better, to be better, so that one life somewhere will be blessed I was there. Also, I believe in life after death, that is why a long time ago, I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ and live consciously of His presence. Lastly, I will maximize my moments with loved ones and have good fun when I can.
What about you?

Failing – A Phase or An End?

I don’t recall ever failing an exam, may be a few low grades that made me sober for a while, but that’s about the worst when it comes to examinations. Well with interviews, I have been failed once (reasons well stated and which I couldn’t deny) but that was even when applying for a visa. As for job interviews, I have been favoured, maybe because over the past 8 years post tertiary education, I have applied formally to only one place and I got a pass since I got the job. So you can imagine how flustered I felt, when I checked the results of the last diet of my professional exams to discover I didn’t make all my papers.

Truth is I sort of felt, O my, is this what failure is all about. Why? What happened? But the paper went well? I felt sad and looked back at all the preparations into that paper, the exam itself. I must confess however that at that point I could have entertained all the negative thoughts possible, I could have resigned to fate and put together a pity party; but these would have only made things worse and stamped that FAILURE word on that phase in my life. Instead, I gathered information on what it would take to do better in my next attempt, and in my subconscious fix a reading schedule to prepare ahead. And with more determination, told myself, I would try again till I make it.

I learnt then that some unexpected situations may come our way in life, so always remember that it doesn’t make you any less than the next person. I also learnt that how you deal with the situation immediately will go a long way to deciding the truth about the situation. Is it a phase of the end? A phase is one that would pass, it’s temporary, it’s for learning. An end means, the final point, the conclusion. Also, dealing with the situation starts with your thoughts. This would lead to the right actions. if you think right, positive then those are the natural actions that would follow.

You may just have to think, okay, what wrong? What do I need to do next time? What timing must I follow? How must I do it? Where must I do it? All to make a difference. But this I also would say, you need to keep on trying till you make it. Do not stop, except you ofcourse you decide to change your route to that end.

Recently a few people were asked to go in a number of companies across the globe, and for many I was opportune to discuss with, my counsel was this, for that person affected, you must begin to strategize immediately, put your brains to work, study and reconnect with people, so that the stream of income will continue. And like earlier mentioned, decide - will this be a phase or the end?

1st Anniversary + Straight From Les

It’s exactly a year and a day after FOOTSTEPS was launched. The anniversary coincides with my birthday. Now whenever I celebrate an additional year of my existence yearly, I can look at my articles and see what I’ve learnt, how much I’ve changed and how I have been a blessing to others. My birthday was yesterday and reflecting back, I felt more fulfilled despite having a number of things in the pipeline than some previous years.

I committed to sharing points I noted down from the last MTN innovation day where Les Brown featured as the guest/motivational speaker. Looking back I must confess it could have been only God who wanted me there, considering the fact that the urge to attend came that Friday morning. I registered for myself and some friends, but out of the 4 of us who wanted to be there I was the only one privileged to make it in eventually. I would therefore attempt to share now and probably in subsequent posts, those memoirs I picked at the meeting.

Thoughts become things

The starting point or drawing table of all we see now and even experience was a thought in our minds or the mind of someone else. So if you want something to happen or to be, then start to think about it and keep thinking about it. And in good time, it would materialize. The reverse is same, if you’re not interested in something, take it out of your thoughts before it comes to be.

You attract what you think of most

Still on thoughts, that which you attract – people, situations - is what you think of or brood over the most. For what we have so far is what we have attracted. If you’re wondering why certain people seem to surround you often or certain situations persist, you need to review first your highly placed thoughts, even the subconscious ones, and then make changes from there.

Focus on what you want not what you don’t want

I also learnt this from the Bible and “The Secret”. Focus rather on the positive side of something than the negative. For instance, the glass as half full than half empty; your early morning rush goal as –“ I need to make it in early” rather than “I don’t want to be late”; you health condition as, “I need to be better or healed” instead of “I am weak”. A good consolation is also in the fact that a positive thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative, so you can imagine the magnitude of results achievable with the right focus.

Though few, the points above can make significant difference in our lives if practised. I’ll stop here for now, with more in the sequel to this post but also challenge you to begin to think, think right and focus right.

Sacrifice then Ceremony

I'm not too glad about letting the month of March pass without posting another article, I really wanted to but just didn’t get to make that time out to. However, I will consciously work on that.

About two months ago, I was at the peak of preparing for the final diet of my professional exams, that was when this learning, or discovery more like it, dawned on me. It was actually a challenging phase. Let me simply call it “sacrifice” because truly I did lay down a lot of preferences just to re-prioritize and work towards the final lap well.

It was at this phase that every second in transit to places counted, because I was running with set goals to cover as many chapters as I could in my study pack. On the way to work, on the way from, in the vehicle, as long as it was well lit, I was studying. Weekends, were another level, I woke up early enough to study in the wee hours before the house was bustling with life especially my kids, when everyone took time to chill watching TV, I had to separate myself to study even more. The last few days off work just before the exam was something else, my time table wa 2/3 hours study periods covering about 7-9 hours per day from 6.30am, with 2/3 hours break in between the periods. I sacrificed. I got novels, magazines and motivational books, which I couldn’t read. I heard about movies from JENIFA to Slumdog Millionaire but couldn’t go near.

All the same, I encouraged myself with these words of comfort, this phase will pass, and then I will celebrate and there’ll be a ceremony - of liberty and especially success. And surely after the final paper that Saturday afternoon, I celebrated. I went with my dad and daughter to watch Bolt at the cinema.

Then I looked into other areas of life, for you to really enjoy a ceremony, some sacrifice would have been made, e.g. preparing for a degree exam to be better qualified and have good chances to earn more, preparing for a wedding to tie the knot with that loved one, starting your business to generate more income, preparing your child every morning for school to become educated, exercising to lose some weight and be in shape, even if it as little as getting yourself to a ceremony venue. Some sacrifice, then ceremeony.

My final word then is this, do you feel so pressed at this time, not enjoying what you’d have loved to, pushing yourself the extra mile to get that dream fulfilled, then be encouraged, not long from this sacrifice stage, your ceremony cometh.