Footsteps

The Little Growths

2011-11-30T07:36:00.000-08:00

It has been a while indeed and I really don’t know how to make up for the months of not posting an article. My sincere apologies, as 2 major events actually led to this and it took me longer than I could have imagined getting myself together. I lost my maternal grandma, who was so special and I was ill for weeks following this. In addition, like all other posts, I didn’t want to just put anything together, I wanted to be sure what I was sharing had been a learning point for me and would be for someone else. It is therefore elating for me to have something to share finally.

Over the period of being ill and then recuperating, I had put a stop to many activities I had been involved with both at home and on the business front. I needed help to get so many things done, and would ever be grateful for those who were there all through. However at some point, I became really bothered, wondering when every single thing would come back to normal again and I would be able to do much more than before. In other words, I was kind of dissatisfied and even a little frustrated. Then I came across a verse from one of my favourite books – “He who loves money shall never have enough…” and my eyes were opened to the insatiable state we could always find ourselves.

On another hand, I pondered the patience with which the farmer awaits the germination of his sown seeds, first the blade then the ear and later the harvest; the patience with which the nursing mother watches the growth of her newborn as he learns to sit up, crawl then walk. And in addition to this the many milestones she celebrates like when the crown of the first tooth is noticed. It made me realize how easy it is to get to that point in life where we tend ignore the signs of seemingly small positive changes; and it gave me concern that we fail to acknowledge the milestones achieved on the way to fulfilling those goals we have set for ourselves.

Another verse from the same book says simply – godliness with contentment is great gain. It somewhat describes contentment as a treasure, having some form of satisfaction as a form of wealth. I have learnt in essence that, even when we achieve some things we’ve always desired to the 100% mark, we tend to shortlive the period of satisfaction because we are already focusing on the more we can still do or have.

This is not about encouraging mediocrity. It’s about coming to terms with the little growths and increase, and learning to acknowledge some, compliment some and definitely celebrate some. It is not only a differentiating attitude, it is an enriching one.

So for me, am I doing all I was doing before yet? No, but am I doing somethings now which I couldn’t do when I was really ill? Yes, and for those ones, I give myself some passmark, while still forging ahead for more. For some of us, it may be with expected changes we desire in our children/spouse or staff? Have they come to the full picture? Maybe not, but have they made some adjustments towards the change? Most likely. It could be with respect to the goals we had set at the beginning of the year. Has this goal been fully ticked off? Maybe not; Are we where we were on it at the beginning of the year? Probably not.

We should be encouraged to support these growths or changes by acknowledging or complimenting or celebrating them…for those feelings of satisfaction/contentment in little levels of achievements go a long way in giving us some level of fulfillment in life.

Treasures from DLA

2011-05-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

Sometime in March this year I was opportune to attend the Daystar Leadership Academy (DLA). It was the Basic Leadership Class. I had a fulfilling experience I must confess. Firstly, I had always wanted to do this, so having it ticked off my goal list was very satisfying and secondly because of the knowledge gained and the enriching networking opportunities.

As fulfilling as it was, it was a stretch program. There were rules to be followed, tests to be written and most especially mindsets to be changed. It took me incorporating early attendance (which was mandatory) with my regular morning school runs. We were taken on courses like Personal Transformation, Success Habits, Excellence Oriented Organization, Organisational Growth, Project Management, Systems Development, Family Success, Delegation Strategies amongst others.

An article on FOOTSTEPS would not be adequate to do justice to all I’ve learnt, but I would share some key ones in this post. I also encourage as many as can attend this Leadership/Management Program to do as well or any other recommended ones. If not for the certificate, it would be an opportunity to gather so much knowledge in a short time on leading people or an organization.

The first lesson that dawned on me at the beginning of the program was the essence of leadership. I learnt that there are many misconceptions about it which has somewhat resulted in the abuse of it over time and in many settings, from homes to organizations and the government.

It is not about titles, but about the tasks performed
It is not about status, but about service
It is not about consumption, but about contribution
It is not about cohesion, but ensuring cooperation
It is not about intimidation, but about inspiration
It is not about manipulation, but about motivation
It is not about lording over people, but loving people
It is not about being a celebrity, but a role of responsibility

In other words, if you are performing relevant/key tasks, serving sincerely, contributing valuably, enhancing cooperation in a team and inspiring or motivating some person other than yourself, if you never knew it before, you have been leading. I for one, used to think (while I worked) that since the organization’s organogram didn’t place me in a “specific - titled” role, then I wasn’t being challenged to develop my leadership potentials and couldn’t give so much as a leader. However, I discovered that in the capacity with which I had somewhat influenced individuals, junior colleagues, peers and teams towards the achievement of a goal, I had served as a leader.

Another lesson I took away from the program, is that SUCCESS IS WHO YOU ARE. In essence, your nature determines the success that can be achieved. It is not merely in the doing but in being. That is why sometimes we see some people whose status or achievement we covet, and the first thing we try to do to succeed like they have is just copy exactly what they do. This often leads to frustration in the long term because we are somewhat working against our nature.

To do something you have never done before, you must become someone you have never being before. The first point of call is changing or developing your person, and then the doing will automatically follow. More often than not, your person is tied to your mindsets; for the journey from grass to grace is an Internal Trip. The challenge here is to so work on your inside, challenge and correct those wrong or limiting mindsets, discover truths, develop your mind, that your outside would be struggling to catch up with it. Even if the outside isn’t changing in the short term, in good time, it will align.

The last but definitely not the least of all my take-aways is the bit on Self Improvement under the Success Habit Course. I am a freak, fanatic, stickler (what other vocabulary is there?) for personal development. I believe in becoming a better you and not settling for the status quo, challenging yourself continually. So it was quite interesting to learn more on this. One of the major activities on self improvement is reading /studying. Earl Nightingale said many years ago that “one hour per day of study in your chosen field was all it takes. One hour per day of study will put you at the top of your field within three years. Within five years you’ll be a national authority. In seven years, you can be one of the best people in the world at what you do”. The tasks with this are to identify that area you want to be good at and then develop the staying power to keep at it. I study an average of 7hours/week now, but on different interests. However, I intend to pick my area of passion and make sure, I top up on it regularly.

On a final note, to gather information is great, but to do with what-you-know is greater. I have tried to instill a practice of noting down action points from every book I read and training program I attend. The fewer they are the better and with deadlines. That way I can experience immediate value from a learning. I encourage you on this, as well as the pearls I have shared. On our own we may not be able, but definitely with God we can.

Birthday Blues

2011-04-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe it wasn’t so bad leaving this month’s post till today. It’s my birthday today and also another anniversary for FOOTSTEPS. As I meditated this morning, and also thought through on the article to post, it became clearer what I’d be sharing on.

Days like this are one of those I look forward to in the year, like Christmas, New Year’s Day and even birthdays of loved ones. I don’t really know why, but it gets me usually excited as the day approaches, just knowing it’s not just like another day. It’s my birthday! Knowing some years ago, my mum pushed in some hospital in Lagos and voila, a baby girl (me) became a special part of their lives and the world. And for many who know me, I do not take the day for granted.

Aside knowing it’s my day to receive a lot of calls, messages, prayers, cards/gifts; it’s also like a significant beginning for me, just like the start of a new calendar year. As businesses do at the end of their financial year end into another, I use the period to review my progress since the last birthday and plan against the next. I basically reflect on my life so far, with a major focus on my walk with God, my achievements, the lives I have influenced, where I have done well and areas for improvement.

When I clocked 30 a few years ago, I was overwhelmed during my reflections about not having done so much per se. I felt I’d not maximized a lot of potentials or given as much as I could have. I kept pondering on that one thing I existed for. Those mediations led me to doing some things and making a number of changes I’ve made in the recent times. As I look back now and look forward more, I know I’m getting there by God’s help, to become all He has intended. What is life after all, if those potentials remain untapped?

So as usual, earlier in the week I took time to take stock, and I’m also anticipating certain new things. My hopes are high, and I’m dreaming more. Before the week runs out I should have a longer list of “…in my lifetime”. It’s a list of 50-100 items that will contain, “what I want to be”, “what I want to do” and “what I want to have”, all in my lifetime. I’ll encourage you on this too, the list just does something to you when you write and when you review. I wrote some like 3 years back and on review a few weeks ago with my husband; I was shocked but pleased to know a number had been achieved.

Your birthday may not be such a different day to you, it may have passed, it may be later in the year…but I beseech you, it’s a day worth reflecting, it’s a day worth rejoicing over, for one thing, you’re alive and so you can hope for the best and like me, you can dream.

Not By Chance

2011-03-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

It is another election season in Nigeria, and batons will change hands afterward. Many are trying to position themselves or their own to take an office, from the Local Government to the Presidency. Parties are strategizing, meetings are being held, money is being raised and spent on campaigns, and activities are gathering momentum for the final lap in this race. The point where every eligible man will cast his vote according to his conviction, whether based on information and understanding or coercion, men will vote and the winners will be declared, sworn in for another season of service. Well for me, I see it as service, though I know many aren’t aware that leadership is really about this.

One interesting part of this current period for me has been the debates. I was present at one, and I have watched a few as well. It has to some extent brought up revelations about the candidates from levels of competence to extent of preparedness in taking the office they are vying for, from temperaments to their thoughts on issue resolution. One of those debates which I am yet to watch though is the Youth Representative debate. It was interesting when I learnt about this, particularly because I knew 2 of the participants who would be representing different parties.

I wasn’t surprised about Adeolu Akinyemi because I’m a little privy to his political affiliation and commitments. However, my initial feeling on Uche Chuta was of shock. I kept saying I know this guy, I know this guy… but is he politically inclined? And then a memory flashed back as the thought stayed with me, it was a confirmation of how our yesterday has an impact on today.

Way back in our elementary days we were all pals, as we lived in the same company estate though we attended different schools. So when some of us represented our schools at different times in the regular inter-school debate on national television, it was easy to note one another. I recall Uche was one of his school's representatives at a debate.Thinking through Uche participating in this current debate, though we had lost touch since we all moved and I didn’t know what he was up to, I settled to the fact that the debate of yesterday was not by chance.

When we look at our lives now and reminisce on our yesterday, to a large extent we’ll all be able to match certain decisions we made and events that occurred then to others that have shown up in our today. For example I had had an ambition to be a fashion designer and used to make lots of sketches as a kid. This wasn’t particularly nurtured as I grew up so it went to sleep, as I took on Architecture then Human Resources but it has however re-surfaced, as couture is one of the services I offer now.

The truth is, these seeming awakenings or repetitions are also not by chance. Somehow those of the past, though they appeared to have occurred randomly, revealed our abilities or prepared us for now. They were yesterday’s seeds whose fruit we now see. The learning point however is that, we can also tie our today to our tomorrow. We can to a good extent determine or predict tomorrow’s fruit by the seed we sow now, the decisions we make now, the exposure we get, the trainings we give ourselves, the relationships we keep, the way we manage our finance and of course what we say “yes” or “no” to.

If we have an idea of what we would like for the future we need to work back from tomorrow and live today more consciously. I will….will you?

Pass On The Torch

2011-02-23T13:04:00.000-08:00

The debate went well. It was another learning opportunity. It felt good being there to see how issues were taken by the candidates. However, the events that followed as the program came to a close were the most unpredictable, unplanned, infact the very last I could ever have considered would happen to me on such a day like that.

As I moved in the throng to extend my greetings to my mum’s friend, who I had noted earlier, I felt a hand slip swiftly into my bag and out. But I knew. I knew an item had been taken and it clicked immediately that it had to be my phone. Immediately, I turned around and grabbed the hand of a man who I felt was the closest to do such and was already turning away. I accosted him, ‘you put your hand in my bag now’. Ofcourse he denied, but while I confirmed to be really sure, he had walked away. Again I followed, pushing my way through the crowd and stopped the man again (well I think it was the same person), telling him he took my phone and all, this time, this one advised me to call the line. Alas, it dawned on me, there was no way to catch the perpetrator, everyone had been advised to leave their phones on silent or vibrate during the program.

I felt really sad, confused, everything negative but tried to pray. I prayed that somehow God would order my steps, show me mercy and show me favour. My prayer was answered.

So as not to bore you with the details, I’ll make it a brief one. I got the phone back. Less than 3 hours after the incident. The lady who gave me back explained that she had picked it when it fell on her leg in the crowd. I met her at her location and she returned it without collecting a dime.

On my way back I suddenly remembered an incident that occurred some weeks back. I had erroneously got an SMS for a recharge into my network via my phone. The remitter and beneficiary had reached me immediately pleading for me to refund. I couldn’t refund directly or do anything that night but the next day I sent back the PIN for the credit of the same value (an unplanned expense though). I got thank-you messages from them afterwards, to which I had replied saying – "...that’s the way we’ve been taught of the Lord, you can pass on the good works".

Truth is, the opportunity to do the right, to do good came my way, I harnessed it and it left me feeling great. I was also a recipient of someone who chose to do right, to do good and I know I was not the only one who felt wonderful but the lady would have as well.

It’s like a torch, we need to pass it on. I can imagine a world where we are all conscious of the needs of the next person; where we make it our personal objective to keep doing the right things and being good. The opportunity is there, the feeling is rewarding and priceless; when you are a recipient, you also enjoy like I did, the wonderful feeling of receiving kindness.

I encourage you with a few lines from my High School’s anthem

…Pass on the love that can transfigure…

We forward press not backward turning,
That this our torch more brightly burning
May yet pass on and on forever….

Some Like it Hot...

2011-01-22T16:17:00.000-08:00

Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in the pot nine days old
Some like it hot, some like it cold
Some like it in the pot, nine days old

Though I had learnt this nursery rhyme way back in my elementary days, little did I appreciate its depth and reality. A recent happening left me with a lesson that brought back strongly the essence of the rhyme.

I’ve already shared this personally with so many but more assuredly, I will hold on dearly to this in my career as an Entrepreneur. Truth is, long before I took off on this journey, I’d learnt that businesses must focus on identifying and meeting needs. It’s about providing solutions to certain issues of the clients or customers. However, I have discovered even another dimension to meeting a need.

Couture is my first line of business at the moment. I’ve not kicked off fully yet since I’m still putting a few things in place and rounding off at the fashion school. All the same, after over 10 weeks we have mastered certain basics of dress making and started making some wears. I decided on starting with complimentary jobs, a good opportunity to introduce myself in the market place. I took this one job from a good friend, and went ahead to execute with what I look back in retrospect as a little understanding of her preferences. The job came out well; truthfully many saw it and commended my efforts. I put in a lot of hours to add creativity here and there. It was one of my first jobs for heaven’s sake; I couldn’t afford to make it simple. Lo and behold, I took it for fitting and despite encouragements that I’d done well on a number of notes, she said – “the style is not me”. And then it dawned on me, nothing satisfies a customer like the exact blueprint of their expectations.

This other dimension to meeting a need is in ensuring one knows the details in full of what the customer needs and wants. It’s about reading in between the lines when they are giving their briefs. It’s about asking; asking and asking….just know that client. It goes beyond the efforts you put in, the time you’ve sacrificed, the funds you’ve expended, all would be like nothing if the other party involved isn’t fully satisfied. So now, more than anything, I’m asking and learning about my client.

While sharing this experience with some loved ones, another perspective surfaced. The same lesson applies in the other relationships like in families, and with friends. We tend to give what we feel would be appreciated because that is probably what we may want if we were in the shoes. So a woman is giving her husband a big card that sings because she really appreciates it, but he doesn’t even like cards in the first place.

We would do our relationships and businesses good if we go this extra mile to research, discover, learn what exactly we must do, how we must do, when we need to do while providing solutions. Honestly, those experiences of spot-on-execution never leave us; they enhance relationships, boost our morale from positive feedback and increase our network base through referrals.

Leave your own personal preferences and know the category your customer, client, loved one belongs…for in actual fact, some like it hot, some like it cold, some like it old and some don’t even like it.

Think Global, Be Global

2010-12-21T04:04:00.000-08:00

It’s another year end, just less than 2 weeks to a new one. And this is wishing everyone great compliments of the season. I know it’s been an eventful year for all with its ups and downs, the high times and the low, but I know more assuredly that it has endowed us all with lessons and discoveries like no other year. Let me use this opportunity to ask any who is willing to share any of theirs to please send me a mail (bukolaogunfayo@gmail.com) and we can have others read and keep to guide and to encourage.

It is a good time in the year to reflect, to review goals, especially in anticipation of other opportunities in the New Year. It is an appropriate time to be grateful too, thankful to the One beyond man who has kept and preserved. I’m sure if we think well, we’ll have a number of things to give thanks for, starting with the gift of life.

For me, 2010 has been quite eventful. For instance, I was able to share regularly on FOOTSTEPS (this means a lot to me), I took a bow to paid employment, I got certified & inducted as an HR Professional and on another extreme, took on a skill in fashion. I can imagine what awaits me in 2011. However, I’m going to take my plans from a different angle this time around, which I believe some would need as well.

Sometime in November, I attended a conference in Lagos. I am very keen on personal development; in fact, I do plan to contribute significantly to the Education Sector sometime in the nearest future, which is what drove me to sit at the Syndicate session on Education. Amongst other things shared, one thing I took away from this meeting was a comment by the Speaker – Mrs. Susan Oyemade, “…you have to be a global teacher, you have to be a global pupil, you have to be a global housewife...” In other words, whatever you have decided to pursue, you need to do it with the world at large in mind, you need to think beyond the local environment, and you need to set a global standard (“world-class, as used in many circles) for yourself.

For a teacher, that’s an easy one. The delivery styles and the contents of the course material for instance need to be worked on, but one would wonder, how can a housewife be global? Well, what recipes is she working on in her food lab (kitchen), the same old ones with the same styles and the same ingredients? What looks does she have on the few times she’s out of the house for a school function or an outing with her husband? While one ponders on this, one has to agree there is room for everyone to think global and to be global.

As we come to another season where we strategize for another year of our lives, we need to ask ourselves what our peers on the global scene are doing better. What are they using to make their work different that we can acquire; what skill have they gained that we can learn, who have they connected with to help them be all they are now, that we need to consider networking with as well (for this we could get their peers in our vicinity). Whichever way, something new and/or something different needs to be worked into our norm to position us globally.

A few, may just actually be ahead of their peers globally already. In Performance Management we refer to them as operating on the Exceed Expectation rating. These ones need to up the stakes, look at their superiors, whose standard they now need to work towards.

I don’t know what we all may have in mind for 2011, but as I challenge myself, I leave this challenge with you, position yourself to become GLOBAL.

Stretch

2010-11-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

Saturday 30^th October, 2010 - Up by 2 am, worked in the studio till about 7am when I took a break for breakfast and a nap before getting into the regular Saturday routine.

Sunday 31^st October 2010 - Up by 5am, worked in the studio till about 9am then I took a break to get ready for Church with the family and the rest of the regular Sunday schedule.

Monday 1^st November 2010 – Up by 1am, worked till 4am, took a short nap before starting the week.

And on and on, a peep into my diary in recent times. Even today, I worked from 3am till day break. Stretching, to meet deadline, to perfect my skill, to be better at what I do.

Thinking back though, for the first few weeks after leaving paid employment, I felt one of the things I needed to enjoy was a little more rest, like a nap in the afternoon or longer hours at night. But then I pondered on the routine of some popular/successful people.

Tiger woods

6:00 Weight workout (90 minutes)

7:30 Breakfast ; 8:00 Practice tee (2 hours); 10:00 Putting green

10:30 Play 9 holes; 12:00 Lunch; 1:00 Practice tee (2 hours)

3:00 Short game work; 4:00 Play 9 holes; 5:00 Putting green

5:30 Home

Even though he has played since he was two years old and has a very unique gift for the sport of golf, Tiger focuses on a detailed (and deliberate) practice routine each and every day. Deliberate practice makes Tiger a great golfer. (CrossHairs Trader)

Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart rises before the sun, well-rested and ultra-perky at 3:30 am. But, the fact is that no one has ever seen Martha Stewart sleep ... (Martha Stewart Everyway)

President Obama

He reads several papers, eats breakfast with his family and helps pack his daughters, Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, off to school before making the 30-second commute downstairs — a definite perk for a man trying to balance work and family life. He eats dinner with his family, then often returns to work; aides have seen him in the Oval Office as late as 10 p.m., reading briefing papers for the next day. (New York Times, January 2009)

John Grisham

When he first started writing, Grisham says, he had "these little rituals that were silly and brutal but very important."

"The alarm clock would go off at 5, and I'd jump in the shower. My office was 5 minutes away. And I had to be at my desk, at my office, with the first cup of coffee, a legal pad and write the first word at 5:30, five days a week."

His goal: to write a page every day. Sometimes that would take 10 minutes, sometimes an hour; ofttimes he would write for two hours before he had to turn to his job as a lawyer, which he never especially enjoyed. In the Mississippi Legislature, there were "enormous amounts of wasted time" that would give him the opportunity to write.

"So I was very disciplined about it," he says… (San Francisco Chronicle, Februay 2008)

What we see usually is the result of their stretches. I have learnt that what got them there and keeps them there is a lifestyle of consistency in giving more than what is common.

It didn’t take time for it to dawn on me that, if I also wanted to be different, then I couldn’t continue to do what the regular person did. I needed to stretch. Truth is, I need to put in extra to get into the extra-ordinary. I would only get out of life what others who sleep and wake at the common time get.

How spot on the words of this quote – The Heights by great men reached and kept were not attained in a sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the night - It regularly filled my mind when I was tempted to become laissez faire with my routine.

So now I stretch. For others it may take another format, but definitely to master that skill or ability, you need to give it more- maybe time, maybe attention. You may need to study more, make more cold calls for that sale or even practice more.

Looking t the end goal usually helps to stay on track with stretching. Even the Bible says…for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross (referring to Jesus Christ).

Remember you can’t get what others are not getting if you give just what they are giving. Keep that target in mind, then ssstttrrreeetttccchhh.

When Pain is Good

2010-10-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

Relationships are a good part of the human existence. In fact, I’m not sure how one could live without relating with another person. An old song even goes thus – “No man is an island…” For me, one thing I thrive on in my relationships is the learning opportunity. And one person I always enjoy learning from is my best friend and hubby. The thoughts on this post started with something I took away from one of our “gist-times” recently but was further confirmed by another health incident, this time with my daughter.

During this time together, I learnt – there are times when Pain is good. Then he explained that for instance if I was cutting an orange and the knife happened to cut my finger, if not for the pain I would have felt instantly, I probably would have finished cutting off my finger before I knew it. Or if there was a shootout somewhere and a man happened to walk into it, the pain of a bullet hitting him makes him see the urgency in getting help quickly or he would just bleed to death.

This health incidence with my daughter is somewhat related to one I shared about my son in a previous post – Fix It Early. So I am glad we reacted earlier this time. My older child, being more mature is now able to express herself better. For a little while, she had been complaining about her tummy aching her. Initially, I felt she was just giving some little excuse not to finish her meals or the likes, but when it seemed to continue, I knew whatever it was had to be fixed early. The blood test at the hospital showed she had been infected with malaria, and this was without all the more popular symptoms. For me, that “Mummy, my tummy is paining me…” was a good alert to a full blown illness which might have led to an admission.

Pain however is not always physical. In fact, sometimes it comes more subtle in the form of a discomfort, maybe increasing heat in a room as against it be cool. Sometimes it could be more serious, like the feeling of bondage or oppression which makes us realize we must seek freedom. This I believe led our leaders 50 years ago to fight for the independence of our beloved country NIGERIA. When it comes this way, pain allows us know something is not right and has to be changed or has to be fixed.

Another instance though, of when pain is good, is when we are undergoing change. At this time, we are breaking away from what we have been used to, and coming into the new. An expectant mother in her 1st trimester sometimes goes through some pain as her body adjusts to the new being. She also goes through pain at the point of delivery, but it is good, it leads to a new life. An addict in rehab, goes through physical and psychological pain when being taken off his addiction, but it is good, it leads him to a better life. Pain is good at times like these, but must be endured, must be tolerated for the reward that it eventually brings.

The challenge is in knowing what the pain is tied to, so as to keep it good. I therefore encourage, don’t take pain/discomfort for granted when you feel it. Whether physical, emotional, or psychological, it may mean you need to give something in your life more attention so it doesn’t get worse. On another hand, it may be telling you, endure for a little while longer, some good change is about to come.

Everyman a War, Everyman a Dream

2010-09-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

It's been only a few weeks since I resigned. And one of those things that categorize an exit now (especially when voluntary), is the mail composed and sent to one’s colleagues and friends, of the intending change with some encouragement or the other. Before mine, I had also got a number from those leaving to continue their studies, re-locating or getting a career change. One of such mails I would never forget was from a team member, whose had this – “… for every man is fighting his own war”.

In her mail, she was referring to the fact that we have to be more understanding of the seeming misbehaviours of others, as we need to keep in mind that such reactions are due to one reason or the other. Over time, I have come to somewhat agree with this. I have learnt that on a good day, most people want to do good. They want to be perceived as nice and friendly, easy-going, understanding…and all those other good qualities. However, some challenges (in and around) faced may not allow them be. I wouldn’t want to go the route of how we need to mature beyond the pressures we face to maintain our cool in this article, as I can imagine many may be thinking now.

However the truth is, many haven’t. Many may never get mature to the point of knowing how to keep challenges personal; and for them what do we do? For instance, I get to a supermarket in a happy mood, peaceful about a lot of things and mistakenly moving into the queue space of another lady who left a cranky baby in her car…I mean, even if she isn’t the vocal type….I would definitely get the look of my life. But then, she is only fighting her war. Sometimes I may just be doing this at the end of a string of “battles” and it’ll go beyond the look to a shove… because sincerely, she would have had it.

I have learnt therefore, that since I wouldn’t get any explanation from everybody for the battle they are in – losing a job/contract, being late for an important interview, a broken relationship, a sick loved-one, even a stain on a favourite dress - every misbehavior I get is mostly because of some challenge being faced. And for good, I need to be a war-hero by helping to win the war or at the least not start another.

On another note, I watched a documentary recently on Nigeria. Sad one I must confess. A dump-sorter being interviewed at some point referred to his daughter as a future Miss Universe. Sincerely I was wowed. I mean, he wasn’t concerned about the fact that they lived in a shack or that he made his daily living from the neighbourhood dump. This man had a dream that such a wonderful experience would come the way of his offspring. Then I discovered again…every man does have a dream. A dream to be more, to do more or to have more.

Once again, let’s not go into the issue of some dreams being unrealistic. Truth is, we have regarded some dreams as unrealistic and they have become reality. Who would have thought the black could be free, talk more of one being President of a country like the United States of America. Maybe I would be more akin to say a dream is bad (if it is at the expense of the good of others) than unrealistic. I’m learning now to be more careful with people, for really I’d rather be a dream-maker than a dream-killer.

My challenge on a final note is, let's be more conscious of how we handle others who have struggles (within or without), by being war-heroes. We need not add to them. Also, let’s treat the next man with care and respect, and when we can, help him achieve more by being dream-makers. Who knows what world war we could be preventing; or what other invention like electricity we could be discovering.

An Enabling Environment

2010-08-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

I was opportune to revise with my daughter for her end of year’s exams sometime last month. One of the subjects for her class, General Knowledge covered a bit on Agriculture basics – types of soil. We studied the 3 major types (Clayey, Loamy and Sandy) and their uses. Just like most of us were taught way-back then, Loamy is the preferred for planting. It’s not that the others can’t allow for some form of growth, but definitely not anything good compared with what the loamy would do.

In the same month, there was an e-mail forward I came across, about a Nigerian family in Britain who had kids that were performing outstandingly beyond what their ages could ordinarily accomplish in academics. My colleagues and I discussed this seemingly chance happening but the consensus was that their being in Britain, in such schools and with such tutors, brought out the best in them.

These facts buttressed a learning - We thrive best in an enabling environment. Our potentials, our dreams, our plans are actualized best when we are located in an enabling environment; like a plant in the appropriate soil. A common saying I used to know goes like this – Apple trees don’t grow in Lagos. That means, there is place for everyone to come out in full bloom. My take on this is this - make sure you are located in your soil (your enabling environment).

However, beyond the physical environment, there is the mind-environment and association-environment. These as well must be supportive. To a great extent we even have better influence on them than even the physical. We can choose what goes on in our mind by what we feed it with and what people influence us by the choice of our confidants and friends.

A challenge then, could be in knowing when we are not in an environment that would be supportive to our potentials/dreams/aspirations. Also, when we are not and cannot move for some reasons, what we need to do.

In more advanced agriculture, each type of soil still has further classifications. Good farmers know which of these would give the best harvest for each crop. But first, they must know which crop they intend to cultivate. Same with us, the crop could be our dream, our plan or our potential. A previous article (Be Better, Know your SWOT -

www.folafayo.blogspot.com ) encourages us to know our strengths, for therein lies our potentials. When we know our crop, it would be easy to tell if the soil would aid growth and productivity. If I dream to be an Olympics medalist in swimming, and there is no pool within my reach, that dream is likely to remain a dream. It’s either I travel regularly to where one is or I re-locate close to one. My challenge on this is for you to note your plans, begin to dream, discover your potential, then you can tell if where you are would help actualize them. If your environment won’t be enabling, then move.

There may be instances when we feel the timing or some other reasons won’t allow us move to our preferred physical environment. What do we do while we wait? We must keep our mind and association environment in top gear. In other words, these two must be “fertilizing” to our plans, dreams or potentials. Just like some fertilizers can be used to enhance the ability of the soil when not good enough.

The state of your mind must become conditioned to bring you to thrive. You need to feed it with information that would motivate and inspire. You can learn to shut out negatives by focusing more on what is positive and what you desire to be. For associations, we need to minimize interactions with those who put us down, who laugh at our dreams and spend more time with those of like minds, those who make us think beyond where we are to what we can become.

We need to get the environment right (mind and association included) to keep energies up, passions alive, focus strong, till we come to full bloom and achieve.

Be better, know your SWOT

2010-07-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

Over time, I’ve come to identify a passion for continuous development. I believe what makes you different now from how you were a while ago is how much and how well you have grown. I like to assess myself and those around me to ascertain if growth has occurred. For those who know me personally, I tend to challenge the status quo now and then… asking, can it be better? How else can it be done?

A few years back, I discovered the S.W.O.T analysis is not only meant for businesses. For continual and personal development, it’s an exercise we need to carry out periodically. It would help us appreciate our growth and strategize for further growth, in addition to increasing productivity.

S.W.O.T (for those not familiar with it) is the acronym for Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats. In carrying out the analysis therefore, we assess ourselves on what we are good at, what we aren’t so good at (or not good at) and what is available to make us better or posing as a danger in our lives.

Due to our backgrounds, experiences, exposures and of course personalities, we have developed certain abilities that come naturally and easy to perform. Some can make something out of nothing, some can create a beauty out of a beast, some can sell an AC unit to an Eskimo, some can remember details or even memorize a 15-digit number. However strengths don’t have to be those genius-kind-of abilities alone, it could even be as simple as being able to cheer up someone (which I don’t think is simple anyway). The challenge is to appreciate the strength and keep it consistent.

Just as strengths come easy, so do weaknesses. In fact we tend to struggle more with weaknesses. Uncontrollable emotions, indiscipline (with self and resources) and many more are things we need to know early enough and begin to work on so it doesn’t deter our progress or even affect any aspect of our lives. I’ve started to use the term “gap” instead as it simply makes me know these are things that must be closed or resolved or brought to the barest minimum for my good and others as well.

While pondering over the SWOT, I’ve learnt that we can only know Opportunities and Threats when we have set certain goals and aspirations for ourselves. So for instance, if my plan is to become the head of a department in a particular function and I know I need some experience in a unit in the department, a vacancy in that unit for my level of skill is an Opportunity. On the other hand, if I discover the organization is making plans to restructure in such a way as to move me to a different role and department, to my career goal, that becomes a Threat.

Some threats however don’t always come looking negative, however when compared with our ultimate goal it becomes clear it would only serve to deter. There is therefore nothing as good as being able to identify an opportunity when it comes especially when one is prepared for it and keys into it. Same thing for being able to spot a threat on time, strategize and quickly deal with it.

A good way to get to know your strengths and weaknesses is with sincere feedback from those around you. I got a book recently and passed it round some friends to help me by asking them to state what I need to be consistent in and what gaps I need to close. On the opportunities and threats, I am constantly reviewing my goals, so it’s engraved in my sub-conscious and can set off alarms for both when they occur. I therefore encourage – know your SWOT, to grow, to be better or to be a step ahead.

Define Success for Yourself

2010-06-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

I was able to take a short break from work recently and made a discovery that now means so much to me. By the way, a break is something I strongly recommend. Amongst other benefits, it also affords you the opportunity to take a step out of your regular routine to appreciate your life from a different angle and of course get better refreshed to continue. For me, I was opportune to meditate (when my kids were off my sensory range) on what Success meant to me.

I’ve come to realize that Success actually means different things to different people. Even for each individual, the phase of life one is in, the experience one is going through also determine what success is. However, most of us tie it to the achievement of goals alone. For a child in elementary school, success is probably about going home with a report that makes mum and dad smile. For another in college, it may be beyond just making the parent smile at graduation to making an excellent grade above peers. And then it goes on to getting a wonderful job, getting recognized as a star performer at work or winning the contract as a business owner.

Truth is when we achieve those goals, we do feel good, but not long after that, we’re pursuing something else. On the other extreme, we never really define it for ourselves. We let what others have defined it to be to determine how we rate ourselves on the ‘success-o-meter’. So there could be someone who feels good enough about being a size 12, but because others feel a size 8 or 10 has a better figure, she begins to feel less “successful” and then goes through so much to be a success by their definition.

For a long time, I have quietly asked myself what it would take for me to eventually feel confident as successful but the period of reflection I had during my leave settled it. It’s the concept behind what it means that really matters. Now, 2 simple words if met at any point in my life would tell me clearly that “Olubukola Ogunfayo, you are a Success”. In Performance Management, we call those words – Key Performance Indicators. They are COMFORT and RELEVANCE.

Yes, I know some may say comfort is relative, relevance is time-bound; but to me comfort would be ease of getting what I need or want at anytime and relevance, being critical at all times. Now what this has done for me is to make me easily assess how close I am to my Success target or rate my success level. I have taken time to review different areas of my life – Faith, Marriage, Work etc on how comfortable and relevant I am.

I have also decided on certain actions I will take, goals with timelines I need to set, identified resources I must get that would make achieve both in these areas. I will not trade one for another because both need to be there for me to feel successful.

My counsel on this is for everyone to know exactly what makes them feel successful. We need to be able to identify our success level at every point in life so we can comfortably say we have become success stories despite how others may feel. I have found mine, have you?

What Do You See?

2010-04-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

April is an anniversary month for me and FOOTSTEPS. I’m a year older on exactly the last day of the month and it would be about 2 years of blogging. For me, anniversaries are worthy of reflections and celebration. This is majorly because one needs to be glad to be alive to see another one, and for progress since the last one (as there should have been, even if small). So truly, I feel blessed to be adding another year to my age and this blog, to look back between now and the last, and appreciate the growth so far.

In as much as I see the need to reflect at anniversaries, it is also a good time to project to where we want to be, like organizations do at their Year End Strategy Sessions, . Lately, an old learning has been coming to mind which I believe would help with projecting at a time like this. For those of us familiar with Bible stories (I’m an ardent believer), this would be a reminder to a popular one where I would start this post from.

A man had the opportunity of turning fortune around in his favour by agreeing with his father-in-law that he’d take only the streaked of the cattle the father-in-law had after a period of time. Funny enough, at the time of this agreement, the father-in-law from all perspectives was more likely to be better off. However, this man had a strategy. He used the power of pictures on the cattle. He positioned before the cattle in their moments of heat, when they drank, “pictures of streak” from the bark of trees. So that somehow when they reproduced, though they were not streaked, they had streaks. And he made sure he did this with the stronger of the cattle, and at the end of the agreed period, the streaked outnumbered the non-streaked.

Truth is, if we look at our lives now, we are either at or close to some of the pictures of what we saw of ourselves years back in our lives. I know some may say, "well no...", but if you are far from it, then you probably didn’t make that picture strong enough on your subconscious. Somehow we attract what we are, and we gradually become what we see or believe of ourselves over time.

My take on this, is to review what exactly we see and the sources of those pictures. These pictures which we see even with closed eyes could come from what we hear/listen to, what people say to us, what we read or even what we watch. You cannot desire to have red pictures in your mind and all you overwhelm yourself with are yellow pictures. You’ll get to a place where even when you see the red, you call it yellow. So if those sources are giving wrong pictures change or correct them as the case maybe.

Secondly, get those pictures of who you want to be where you want to be or go, or what you want to do always before you. A couple-friend recently shared with us their exercise on cutting out pictures close to what they want their future to be like and pasting it on a board they would see regularly. This idea I encourage greatly, because some of us, for so long have seen the exact opposite of what we want our future to be like and we need a paradigm shift. You could even start with the screen saver on your phone or computer.

Lastly, those figures when settled strongly in our subconcious to a large extent affect the decisions we make, what we attract or what we get attracted to. Infact, at some point we begin to say so much about it that others around us can identify us with them.

In essence, we need to make sure we receive the right pictures and we need to focus on them. The reality is that, if by natural standards we wouldn’t have been able to do much of accomplishing them, we would in a future not too far from now, see ourselves having achieved much. As I look forward to these last days into my next birthday, my major goal is to seek the greatest source of my future pictures for new/clearer pictures of my life. My challenge, as you also consider projecting, is with this question…What Do You See?

Life – A Relay Race

2010-03-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

Right now, my mind is jam-packed with recent learnings which I intend to sort out gradually and share, so I have decided to post this learning from my archive. It helped me in making certain resolve.

Sometime ago, I observed and heard the stories of those who passed on and the effect on their immediate family. And it gave me concern.

At the time this thought flooded my mind, I wondered majorly about the financial challenge that may come with the passing away of the parent on the young ones. Worse still if were both parents at the same time. Would there have been enough in place for the children to survive and live on, especially with the standard they enjoyed in the lifetime of their parent? Would there have been someone mandated with the responsibility to administer these funds, if all kids were minors, in a fair, wise and proper way? Would every area of their lives be well cared for – emotional, psychological, physical? Is there any establishment in place now that handles this fully?

Some would say there are insurance companies and all, but besides financial re-imbursement to the next of kin, are they saddled with the responsibility of somewhat filling that parent’s shoes especially when there is no worthy family member to take charge?

Then I discussed this at small meeting and I came out with the understanding that there are certain things you need to pass on to your young ones/put in place now so as to keep your mind at rest. So that come what may, when they take the baton from you at the time you pass it on, they would run their race even better than you did yours.

Firstly is the finance bit. This cannot be underestimated - Savings, investments and property. Never assume any sum is too small to set aside. Little drops make an ocean. Be diligent, be consistent. Along with this, is letting your spouse, lawyer or trusted friend/family in on whatever is in place for them. An uncle once told me when I marketed a company’s shares to him that, he would rather focus on property, since his kids could sue tenants for non-payment of rent and not the management of a company for non-payment of dividends. Different schools of thoughts but I got something from his counsel.

Secondly, you must imbibe the right values in them. The first may be a tough call for some but this one costs only time and conscious effort. If they can’t stand for something, they’ll fall for anything. Let your kids know what you stand for. Let them also know those values would make them outstanding, with or without you. Values like integrity, loyalty, excellence, humility, fairness etc are being used in companies now so everyone is functioning with the same mindset to sustain the business and its brand, how much more a lineage?

Thirdly, the ability to make something out of nothing or increase whatever comes into their hands. This would help them turn those lemons life offers them to lemonade. It would also enable them appreciate their small beginnings ad maximize the little they have in hand for greater things.

Lastly, but definitely not the least is faith & hope in God. This assures them someone greater than man is on their side. It would let them know come what may, the best is yet to come and will surely come.

So as we pray for long life, let’s remember, life is a relay as we pass the baton on to the generations after. Know the colour of your baton and let them know what colour they are looking out for to run with when it’s their turn.

A Standby Shoulder, An Earnest Ear

2010-01-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to you all. It’s the first post this year and I trust it would bless you like others have. For me, and this I pray for you too, this year would be specially different. There would be a special difference in every area of life. That would make the year remarkable and memorable. I guess we all have certain things we are looking forward to and I know by Divine grace, they’ll be achieved.

I hope the title of the post will be the appropriate for this post. I feel it’s important that it does, so that by remembering the title after now, the message would be refreshed in our minds. As I have come to appreciate these parts of the body more after 2 recent incidents.

Sometime last year, a young Nigerian attempted to bomb an airplane flying into America. The news was perceived from different angles by different people as all other news we hear. However, what moved me the most was a reference in a dailies article to this young lad once saying he was lonely. A little more was said on him feeling set-apart in ideology from a few around him. And sincerely it gave me concern.

Not long after this, an acquaintance of mine mentioned a comparative story of a lady who just committed suicide, leaving behind her child who was less than 4 years old. She had lost her husband a year or two before then and was having a few challenges, finance being the major. Again, I felt really concerned.

My conclusion was this, or rather a question that rose in my heart was – would a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear to talk to have made a difference? I strongly believe so. For this young man for instance, the tell tale signs of him needing the shoulder and ear (peharps mum’s/dad’s) was when he observed his loneliness. His situation gradually took a better part of him and he became willing to die, even if it was for a cause he alone believed in. This lady was probably unable to find a shoulder to cry on, an ear to talk to in order to unburden her despair, she also became willing to end it all, because she didn’t feel she had a cause to live for or the will to survive any longer.

My challenge to all is this, identify a standby shoulder and an earnest ear and grab it when you begin to feel discouraged with life, feel lonely, feel broke, feel intimidated, feel sad or any other negative feeling. Even if you do not seek counsel at that time, you need to be able to unburden before you get over-burdened and then probably lose hope. I even have a list, God and my hubby being top 2.

Another side to it is this; we may actually be saving a life and not know we’re doing it by being a standby shoulder and earnest ear. Sometimes we need to be discerning enough to allow that “chatter-box” to talk, or unwind that “quiet one”. You could be one to your parent, sibling, colleague, neighbour or even the next passenger in a bus. It could be at a time when they need hope re-stirred in them. And we are the only ones available to do so.

On a final note as we continue in the year, don’t forget to get discerning as your shoulder, your ear, your smile, your touch, your words in season could save a life.

After the First NOEL

2009-12-24T17:56:00.000-08:00

While growing up, Christmas was one occasion we all looked forward to. The Christmas parties for children, the visits to Santa (locally called Father Christmas) and the open house where family and friends we hardly see in the year come around to the house. Something my siblings and I enjoyed back then were the Christmas gifts our parents got us for the season.

These gifts would have been got a little while before the day, and then wrapped and kept at the Christmas tree on Christmas eve, when we all couldn’t wait to tear off the wraps as the time clocked the 1minute into Christmas. Like every child though, we were inquisitive about what was behind the wraps and would try to use all our senses to guess the gifts before unwrapping except of course the sense of taste.

We are trying to continue with this Christmas tradition now, so we got gifts for our kids and had them wrapped. Last night my daughter (after seeing their wrapped gifts) reminded me of something else we probably did then. It was to put more value on the size of the gift. She picked the bigger gift thinking that was hers and left the smaller one to her brother.

Thinking back now and through life, I’ve discovered indeed that many times the value we put on a thing, a person or even opportunity is determined by what we see. Usually the bigger the better. Or the more beautiful or likely the better. We also do the reverse sometimes, not appreciate a thing if it doesn’t seem to fit the image we had of it. But the truth is, many have missed opportunities by not waiting long enough to see what is behind the wraps or behind the first impression.

The Christmas story did that to many too. A king was being expected; a ruler, strong and powerful. What they saw and heard about was a baby, born in a manger – I'll call it the first NOEL. What they knew was a carpenter’s son. And so it was easy to despise and not believe He was the promise come to pass. I personally believe the promised Messiah came in flesh and my life has been better off looking beyond that first NOEL, beyond the wrap of humanity He had on while on earth to the Deity He is.

My encouragement to us all this season and for life in general is to be patient and wait till after the first NOEL, to look beyond the wraps, appreciate small beginnings so we would enjoy all that we expect even if they don’t seem to look so at the first meet.

Merry Christmas everybody, and thank you for being a part of FOOTSTEPS.

Fix It Early

2009-11-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

Tell tale signs, tell tale signs, they always show; before that thing goes real bad check it early. I’d always been a stickler for not waiting till things go bad before fixing it but I erred once and was only saved by grace.

Earlier in the year, my older child was feeling ill and we had taken her to see the doctor so she could be treated. At about that time the younger one was beginning to show some level of increase in body temperature but somehow we didn’t pay much attention to it. We had observed it going off and on but a little counsel here and there that it might not be anything much made us leave it at that.

Then it happened, one night while we slept I woke to the amazing level of warmth his body had got to. Really that must have been God. I had to use a moist cold towel on him through the night. I couldn’t even afford to go anywhere but the hospital first thing in the morning. The blood test recommended showed a very low level of immunity, real high malaria and all the doctor could tell me was – “I’m sorry you can’t take this boy home, it’s too bad. He has to be put on at least 48 hours intra-venous …” And you know the tears rolled down my eyes. And the thoughts were, you don’t wait around this long normally to treat this kind of issue, that inner voice (God talking) had warned, why in the world did I not act then?

I thank God today it is a testimony but not just that, it’s a lesson engraved in me. I won’t wait till it gets bad another time. On another note, all the drivers we’ve ever had had got that tip from us while working with us. If you notice anything, anything at all going wrong with the car, report it. I feel, I’m yet to be proven wrong, that cars for instance don’t just mess up real bad on a trip all of a sudden. They would have been giving off tell tale signs. If you were fortunate to notice that one thing before leaving home or work, please get it fixed. Do not, I plead, do not manage.

The truth is, beyond health and cars, these tell tale signs also show in other parts of life if we look real close especially relationships or with respect to replenishing items. When those tell tale signs of things not being okay begin to show, that’s the time to fix. It’s faster, safer and more cost efficient. Waiting and assuming it’ll fix itself or procrastinating the time to fix it, may take it to a point beyond fixing but need for a complete change. My challenge therefore is this, we need to get sensitive, pay attention to those signs when they occur and fix early. Do you need to fix anything today?

Get Ready, Set...

2009-10-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

In 1999, my fellowship in the University used this theme – “Get ready” for our annual conference ahead of the entry into the new millennium. I still remember a part of the song as I write this and the other memories. However I think we should have taken a cue from that meeting that not only into a new millennium must one get ready but at all times like the boys scout motto.

When the recently concluded Project Fame Reality show sponsored by MTN was about rounding off, I just thought to myself, it is not possible these guys woke up one day and started singing. They didn’t just walk to the audition centers to take a chance at it, truth is, they must have been singing before then. Some might have been in some choir or group before they took on the opportunity, some might have been singing in their bathroom or miming some of their favourite artistes’ songs in their rooms with a comb as the microphone, but one thing is for sure, they were doing some form of singing before Project Fame came by. Trust me, those who seem to have gained popularity today were once in “oblivion” getting ready.

On the reverse, we had an incidence recently of testing a driver for a job opportunity and my goodness I wondered if he really was ever a driver. His excuse – he had not driven for 6 months and wasn’t used to an Automatic Gear System. But this is supposed to be the skill he exchanges for income, why wasn’t he prepared?

Many of us have different things we aspire for ourselves in life depending on the phase we are in. it could be getting married, getting a particular job, winning a talent show, winning an election, becoming a public speaker and motivating people, starting a business and so many others I have not listed; but beyond aspiring what are you doing ahead of that opportunity coming up? Some people call it luck, but what would one call preparedness meeting an opportunity, I think it is more than luck.

My resolution therefore and challenge is this, don’t wait till that opportunity comes before you go for it, you may not be up to standard since you have not prepared yourself or rehearsed for it; start going for it now. Find out from others who have got there or made it, read books on it, surf the net for related information, learn the new model of that technology, start dressing like it (if you can), talking like it, get that proposal ready, volunteer to learn beside someone, offer to show your skill (without pay if possible)…whatever you need to do, just be on your marks, get ready, to go.

“The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained in a sudden
flight; but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the
night.”

Going Beyond "I'm Sorry"

2009-09-12T02:49:00.001-07:00

I was in a vehicle with someone recently and as usual we were discussing issues, personal experiences and those we had heard about. Somewhere along the line, she made mention of a “cold war” recently resolved between herself and someone close to her.

As usual, or more often than not, as occurs in conflicts, both parties felt in the right and felt were owed the apology. Of course, things dragged a while, till that inner voice desiring peace compelled her to take the first step towards apologizing and eventually reconciling. And just prior to that time, she had almost decided there was no going forward with that friendship. In essence what could have led to a complete break in a relationship was handled maturely and they are better off for it.

For me, I have also had my share of tough times with friends, colleagues, acquaintances and all, but I learnt early the place of talking things over. It does a lot. Again I emphasise - it does a lot. Issues or conflicts can be handled in many ways, you could pretend it is not there, run away from it, let out your mind angrily or deal with it maturely.

Pretending it’s not there, would be falsehood. Truth is it’ll gradually pile up and gradually eat away at the foundation till one day, when something seemingly small makes the whole fall apart. Running away from it, would be cowardice. Truth is in life, certain things will keep occurring even at our new locations of escape till we deal with it and have the skill to handle it right. To let out your mind angrily would be destructive, you’ll say things you’ll regret, you’ll do things you can’t mend and hurt the dear one.

My take – deal with it maturely. It wouldn’t enough to just say sorry. Anyone can say sorry and not really be sincere about it. I’ll say, go a step further to make sure you talk about it. Why? Talking heals, it allows you to see where all concerned are coming from, what exactly went wrong and sometimes how badly hurt those concerned were. Essentially it naturally keeps you on the alert about what to look out for before such repeats itself, you know each other better and many times can boldly tell someone else what that person wouldn’t take, you become an advocate.

Sometimes talking over may not be immediate, simply apologizing could do for that time. But when you can sense it is right, do the talking. I have done some talking over for some conflicts I’ve faced, for some others, I await the right time. Besides what’s life really about if not in loving and relationships, lets live then and keep those relationships alive and healthy.

What you’re looking for...

2009-07-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Some while ago I asked the young lady staying with me to look for a particular napkin that we used mostly for my baby, or well, he’s more of a toddler now. I gave her the colour to remind her and left her to the search while I did something else. Minutes passed and then I checked on her, and was somewhat taken aback that she was yet to locate it. And then it actually dawned on me, does she know what she is looking for, so I had to ask her, “Do you know what you are looking for?”

While I pondered over this later that morning it struck me that the same problem affects us all in life. Do we really know what it is we are looking for? Truth is, knowing exactly what you’re looking for prevents you from missing it when it comes your way and to know exactly where to get it.

Taking you back to the napkin search for instance, if this young lady had remembered the exact napkin, she’ll recall it had been washed, ironed and kept. The challenge would now be to know where it wouldn’t have been kept and search the more likely places first. But as it were, she was checking anywhere possible for something that may match what I needed.

In relationships for instance, particularly one that could lead to marriage, my counsel had always been to know the kind of spouse you want. Many say it’s not nice to be too rigid, but truth is, if you can’t stand for your choice and wait for it, you’ll probably settle for anyone. Before I met my husband, I had a list of the must have’s for instance (maybe what many ladies would want though), God fearing, God loving, Intelligent, Caring and yeah with a good sense of humour. With God’s favour, when he came by, I knew it. The same would go for a job, an opportunity to bless, even material things like houses, cars et al.

If you don’t want to miss that thing when it comes, if you want to be able to sift through the available options quickly, if you want to know where you can start your search, then take time out to itemize the description or quality of what you’re looking for. You may need to even prioritize the list where applicable and probably ask around from valid sources (for me this includes God often), and on many occasions I have found what I was looking for. Taking this back to you…What are you looking for?

A Legacy

2009-07-05T05:10:00.000-07:00

Within the past 2/3 weeks, 2 well known people to me have passed on. One is the popular king of pop – Michael Jackson and the other a mum to a good friend of the family. Both news came with shock for me, because they were unexpected. Really, death is an unexpected event. Despite the fact that we all know one day we’ll leave this world, yet that “day “ is unknown.
These ones and many who have gone before them would have left such gaps in the hearts and lives of those who knew and loved them, but more especially memories and experiences. It has made me ponder therefore that what kind of memory and experience would we leave behind after we are gone? What legacy would we be passing on to those coming after?
Even if the day comes long after some of us may desire, our every day now must matter. Truth is, some things we do or say that may seem unimportant may be making such significant impressions in the life of that person we may not know or be related to, who will meet us or come in contact with us. So our conscious daily living would have to go beyond those we are related to us or those we know. Michael for instance never knew who Bukola Ogunfayo was, but I was a fan of his while growing up and particularly like the ‘...do you remember the time...” musical video and a few others he released. Also, this mum of our friend never had much interaction with me, but I recall her using her laptop at our friend’s on a visit to their house once and I was impressed that someone of the older generation was familiar with such tool.
How have you lived your life thus far, and what legacy would you want to leave behind? What would you like to be remembered for after you no longer walk this earth? I have reached, before now, a point of trying to affect lives positively, that led me to starting FOOTSTEPS, but I’m further challenged t o do more. To live better, to respond better, to talk better, to be better, so that one life somewhere will be blessed I was there. Also, I believe in life after death, that is why a long time ago, I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ and live consciously of His presence. Lastly, I will maximize my moments with loved ones and have good fun when I can.
What about you?

Failing – A Phase or An End?

2009-05-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

I don’t recall ever failing an exam, may be a few low grades that made me sober for a while, but that’s about the worst when it comes to examinations. Well with interviews, I have been failed once (reasons well stated and which I couldn’t deny) but that was even when applying for a visa. As for job interviews, I have been favoured, maybe because over the past 8 years post tertiary education, I have applied formally to only one place and I got a pass since I got the job. So you can imagine how flustered I felt, when I checked the results of the last diet of my professional exams to discover I didn’t make all my papers.

Truth is I sort of felt, O my, is this what failure is all about. Why? What happened? But the paper went well? I felt sad and looked back at all the preparations into that paper, the exam itself. I must confess however that at that point I could have entertained all the negative thoughts possible, I could have resigned to fate and put together a pity party; but these would have only made things worse and stamped that FAILURE word on that phase in my life. Instead, I gathered information on what it would take to do better in my next attempt, and in my subconscious fix a reading schedule to prepare ahead. And with more determination, told myself, I would try again till I make it.

I learnt then that some unexpected situations may come our way in life, so always remember that it doesn’t make you any less than the next person. I also learnt that how you deal with the situation immediately will go a long way to deciding the truth about the situation. Is it a phase of the end? A phase is one that would pass, it’s temporary, it’s for learning. An end means, the final point, the conclusion. Also, dealing with the situation starts with your thoughts. This would lead to the right actions. if you think right, positive then those are the natural actions that would follow.

You may just have to think, okay, what wrong? What do I need to do next time? What timing must I follow? How must I do it? Where must I do it? All to make a difference. But this I also would say, you need to keep on trying till you make it. Do not stop, except you ofcourse you decide to change your route to that end.

Recently a few people were asked to go in a number of companies across the globe, and for many I was opportune to discuss with, my counsel was this, for that person affected, you must begin to strategize immediately, put your brains to work, study and reconnect with people, so that the stream of income will continue. And like earlier mentioned, decide - will this be a phase or the end?

1st Anniversary + Straight From Les

2009-05-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

It’s exactly a year and a day after FOOTSTEPS was launched. The anniversary coincides with my birthday. Now whenever I celebrate an additional year of my existence yearly, I can look at my articles and see what I’ve learnt, how much I’ve changed and how I have been a blessing to others. My birthday was yesterday and reflecting back, I felt more fulfilled despite having a number of things in the pipeline than some previous years.

I committed to sharing points I noted down from the last MTN innovation day where Les Brown featured as the guest/motivational speaker. Looking back I must confess it could have been only God who wanted me there, considering the fact that the urge to attend came that Friday morning. I registered for myself and some friends, but out of the 4 of us who wanted to be there I was the only one privileged to make it in eventually. I would therefore attempt to share now and probably in subsequent posts, those memoirs I picked at the meeting.

Thoughts become things

The starting point or drawing table of all we see now and even experience was a thought in our minds or the mind of someone else. So if you want something to happen or to be, then start to think about it and keep thinking about it. And in good time, it would materialize. The reverse is same, if you’re not interested in something, take it out of your thoughts before it comes to be.

You attract what you think of most

Still on thoughts, that which you attract – people, situations - is what you think of or brood over the most. For what we have so far is what we have attracted. If you’re wondering why certain people seem to surround you often or certain situations persist, you need to review first your highly placed thoughts, even the subconscious ones, and then make changes from there.

Focus on what you want not what you don’t want

I also learnt this from the Bible and “The Secret”. Focus rather on the positive side of something than the negative. For instance, the glass as half full than half empty; your early morning rush goal as –“ I need to make it in early” rather than “I don’t want to be late”; you health condition as, “I need to be better or healed” instead of “I am weak”. A good consolation is also in the fact that a positive thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative, so you can imagine the magnitude of results achievable with the right focus.

Though few, the points above can make significant difference in our lives if practised. I’ll stop here for now, with more in the sequel to this post but also challenge you to begin to think, think right and focus right.

Sacrifice then Ceremony

2009-04-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not too glad about letting the month of March pass without posting another article, I really wanted to but just didn’t get to make that time out to. However, I will consciously work on that.

About two months ago, I was at the peak of preparing for the final diet of my professional exams, that was when this learning, or discovery more like it, dawned on me. It was actually a challenging phase. Let me simply call it “sacrifice” because truly I did lay down a lot of preferences just to re-prioritize and work towards the final lap well.

It was at this phase that every second in transit to places counted, because I was running with set goals to cover as many chapters as I could in my study pack. On the way to work, on the way from, in the vehicle, as long as it was well lit, I was studying. Weekends, were another level, I woke up early enough to study in the wee hours before the house was bustling with life especially my kids, when everyone took time to chill watching TV, I had to separate myself to study even more. The last few days off work just before the exam was something else, my time table wa 2/3 hours study periods covering about 7-9 hours per day from 6.30am, with 2/3 hours break in between the periods. I sacrificed. I got novels, magazines and motivational books, which I couldn’t read. I heard about movies from JENIFA to Slumdog Millionaire but couldn’t go near.

All the same, I encouraged myself with these words of comfort, this phase will pass, and then I will celebrate and there’ll be a ceremony - of liberty and especially success. And surely after the final paper that Saturday afternoon, I celebrated. I went with my dad and daughter to watch Bolt at the cinema.

Then I looked into other areas of life, for you to really enjoy a ceremony, some sacrifice would have been made, e.g. preparing for a degree exam to be better qualified and have good chances to earn more, preparing for a wedding to tie the knot with that loved one, starting your business to generate more income, preparing your child every morning for school to become educated, exercising to lose some weight and be in shape, even if it as little as getting yourself to a ceremony venue. Some sacrifice, then ceremeony.

My final word then is this, do you feel so pressed at this time, not enjoying what you’d have loved to, pushing yourself the extra mile to get that dream fulfilled, then be encouraged, not long from this sacrifice stage, your ceremony cometh.

Haters

2009-03-03T02:19:00.000-08:00

A good old friend of mine (Tolu) sent me a “forward” today. I had been contemplating on what to share before she sent it in. After reading it, it was clear to me that this discovery could be shared on Footsteps as well. I actually checked up the author (Maya Angelou) through google and realized a few other blogs had posted it before now.

I’ll be going ahead, however, to post it because I appreciate it and was also so moved by the final quote. It would be good to know those haters in our lives and handle them right, and also ask ourselves if we have been subtle ones in the lives of others and work towards a change.

Haters

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is evergood enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story...

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can be rest assured that the water bill is higher there too! We've all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:

a) Have a relationship with God

b) Light up a room when you walk in

c) Start your own business

d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb

(if he/she isn't about the right thing)

e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home.

Haters can't stand to see you happy. Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)

2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at who is in charge of me...

'Pass this to all of your family & friends who you know are not hating on you including the person who sent it to you. If you don't get it back, maybe you called somebody out! Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs. Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters...

BUT most of all don't become a HATER!

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

Maya Angelou

The Gift and The Giver

2009-02-08T11:39:00.000-08:00

It’s another Valentine Season and I can bet everyone, or well maybe most people, will be cracking their heads now for options on what to give, something different from the previous years. There have been many views I’ve come across over time on this season, the most common being that we don’t have to wait till Valentine to show love or appreciate that loved one. True in some ways, but another angle to it is there just seems to be some different air of love/passion/appreciation around this time that no one wants to be left out.

I learnt also a while back that for an ideal or close to ideal gift pack, 3 major groups should be represented – Edibles, Useables and Keepables. Though this could just serve as a guideline of some sort. Edibles would be those things that can be eaten or drunk e.g. Chocolates, Wines etc. Useables would include Perfumes, Watches and Hygiene packs etc and Keepeables would be those things that can be preserved for a long time, maybe on display for others to appreciate e.g. Teddies, Jewelry, Electronics etc. so as you think through what to get for that loved one this year, you could consider these groups.

However, I learnt something new today as I pondered these gift options. Some few years back, our apartment was burgled, amongst the items taken was a laptop given to us as a wedding gift from our Dad. Truth is, that gift is gone but the giver is still there. In other words the giver of that gift needs to be dearer to us than the gift; he/she is the one that the appreciation must remain for.

Yes a few times that giver just doesn’t get that gift we seem to want at that time or would prefer, but the gift may finish like the Edibles or Useables or even get damaged or lost or stolen or wear out like the keepables, which leaves us with the Giver or memories of the Giver. This Valentine lets try to look beyond the gift to the giver, to that one who loves us so to remember us at this time and appreciate us enough to get a gift or send a message of love or appreciation.

Happy Valentine

Plot Your Route

2009-01-11T03:06:00.000-08:00

During one of our last vacations in the UK, we had to get to an uncle’s place by taking a cab. We had never been to this place before but were not so much concerned about missing our way because our hosts had made us understand that most if not all cabs had the Navigator (Satellite/GPRS). They also had one in their car as well.

To use the navigator one just had to specify the destination point and the starting point and it automatically plotted the route. In addition it would guide the user on where to turn to the left or the right, how long the distance would be before making another turn or coming to a stop.

In understanding how it works, one just needs to note that some major landmarks and geographic points had been identified in reality, for which the Navigator identifies & links via a satellite while mapping routes. And it is based on these that it plots the desirable routes.

So I ask, do you have a Navigator in place as we start this new year. Have you identified your destination in different areas of your life, have you identified major landmarks? For those who have and are even used to that annual habit I have a learning to share. For those who haven’t yet, I challenge you – take time out, reflect on where you are, where you want to be and write down those goals or dreams you desire to accomplish in this year.

Yes, write them down. It is not enough to know it in your heart, you need to write it down, so you can have a guide in place and also a list to tick off. Writing down helps you know when that opportunity comes knocking since you’ve identified what it is you want. You may want to look at different sub-headings – Spiritual, Marriage/Relationship, Family and Children, Academic/Career/Business and others.

My recent learning on goal setting which I hope to make a habit this year, however, is regular review. You just have to continue to see that thing, to desire it, to have it. That’s an advertising secret. It may not be enough to write it down and check it out at the end of the year, you need to go back to it, look at it regularly, add to it or take from it as the case may be and consciously put in place the necessary to accomplish it.

I have my Navigator already working, do you?

The Opportunity in “Another”

2009-01-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

A happy new year to everyone. This is my first article in 2009, and I’m believing I’ll learn more and get to share more on Footsteps.

2008 was a good year in many ways for me and my family. For instance, we had an addition in my family – a lovely son, it was also the year Footsteps was launched. I believe you all have something good to remember the year for, even if it was for something seemingly small.

I had earlier thought I would focus on an early plan for the year, but as I sat to prepare this, I remembered another learning which I think would be just timely to share.

Sometimes last year, during one of our close of day prayers, I observed a request I always made – “… to live tomorrow better than we did today”. It was with a sincere appreciation for seeing the end of the day and feeling privileged enough to witness yet ANOTHER day coming, and then to live it better.

Then it dawned on me that many of us have had the privilege of witnessing ANOTHER in our lives, another day, another month, another paycheck or payment for goods sold or service rendered, another relationship, another meal and for us all now – Another Year. The opportunity that exist in Another of these things and more is to go about it in a better way, so that at the end of its time or period, when we stand back and evaluate we can say for sure, that it was better.

It’s a new year and if for anything, let us start with a deep appreciation of witnessing another year and make efforts to maximize this opportunity to have a greater and more fulfilling year than the previous. In order to do this well, my challenge is for you to identify the shortcomings of the previous year and make a conscious effort to overcome it in this year, and also identify the victories gained and be consistent in maintaining it.

Feliz Navidad

2008-12-25T10:30:00.000-08:00

Truth is I did try to get around posting this before today but it’s all good being able to do it today all the same. It’s about my 7th month of blogging too and I must confess I’ve been blessed indeed to share all I have so far.

A Merry Christmas to you all. It’s a season of celebration and joy again, with family, friends and loved ones. Everyone trying to outdo each other with gifts, first calls and texts, but whose birthday is it anyways?

I’m a Christian and have been all my life, so the story behind this season is not only one I know but also believe in. It’s the foundation of the Christian faith and anchor. It’s basically a simple one, but takes faith to accept as truth.

Many years ago, in the little town of Bethlehem, a virgin gave birth to a baby boy in a manger. A child that had been prophesied to come in a special manner to live a model life, teach life changing truths and lay down his life that man may be reconciled back to the maker, God Himself. And that child was God Himself in the flesh. Only Him could offer the atonement required for the reconciliation.

Some are yet to believe this truth, since they cannot grasp the sense in it. How could such happen? Why would such happen? I pray that even as I may not be opportune to share that now, that as they also celebrate this birthday God would cause light to shine in their hearts to understand and then believe.

For those who have believed, let this year’s Christmas be another opportunity to be grateful that He came and we are His.

A wonderful Christmas again to everyone, from me and my family.

The Maze Of Life 3

2008-11-15T11:33:00.000-08:00

On this 3rd and let me say last part to the maze of life I would just share briefly on the other aspect to the maze. I had initially focused on the fact that each person's path in ilfe differs, which eventually forms a maze. For some it’ll be almost simple and straight, for other the turns would be just a few and for some quite a number. In as much as the decision on where to turn at those junctions lies with us. I’ve also emphasized the need to appreciate yours and learn from others.

The other aspect I intend to share is the realization that in the maze of life, some paths would cross and remain together till the end, while some will start together, break off at some point and still meet together, others starting together which disperse may never cross again.

I had also earlier mentioned the traditional proverb on 20 friends not staying together for 20 years. However, my area of concern is this- for those years you are together, for those times your paths crossed what can those people say about you? How much of good influence did you have on their lives? While I will not encourage breaking off from a friend just because of issues that mught have occurred without proper reconciliation, I understand that knowing people over time will help you identify if they are to remain your best buddies, which would mean some form of breaking off or separation for some that would be for good.

I challenge you again, some of those people in your life now could have their paths meeting with yours for just a while, so make an effort to take it as an opportunity to influence them positively, in other words be a blessing to them. Who knows if that may help them in their next phase in life.

The Maze Of Life 2

2008-11-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

I came across this poem in the last week and felt quite glad I was not far in my discovery on the maze of life.

MY SHOES

Thank God for my shoes – they fit.

I woke up one day and I realized that there were many things
about my life I was not satisfied with or better still, there
were challenges that were threatening my soul.

And I said to myself, ‘why should anyone envy me and want
to be in my shoes. ‘They don’t know how far I’ve come, they
don’t know what lies ahead of me, and neither do they know
how dissatisfied I get with myself from time to time.

People don’t know the troubles that you’ve had or the price
you had to pay to get to where you are. All they want to know
is that they wish they were like you.

Why should you wish you were in anybody’s shoes when you
hardly know how they fit?

When you’ve worn your shoes for a while they take the shape
Of your feet and align to the way you walk. If you were to
wear my shoes, you will not be comfortable in them.

So I stopped wishing that I am in someone shoes because
it might not fit; rather I thank God for my shoes, because
they fit!

I have learnt to be the best in what I do, and I know no-one
Can replace me anywhere and in any sphere

I am an original, my God is not in the cloning business.
He makes originals!

Make the best of what you do; because you have this
beautiful life to live ONLY ONCE.

Live it to the fullest.

In essence we have different lives to live, different shoes to wear, different paths to take and knowing that helps us appreciate our individual uniqueness.

Who have you been negatively comparing yourself to? it’s time to tow the positive angle to comparison, for out of it comes a deeper appreciation of the other person, a challenge tomove beyond your comfort zone (to learn and do new things) and the realization that you too can live life to the fullest.

The Maze Of Life

2008-10-01T09:38:00.000-07:00

I was pondering recently on some of my friendships, or would I say the relationships I’ve had along in life so far. Some are still very alive, some just there and others almost put out. I’ll say categorically that I’m one of those who don’t believe in cutting a friend off. Why? Why would you wake one day and decide not to keep relating to someone you share nice memories with? For those who do, some guts there I must say. But this topic would be for another time.

While I refer to these relationships, my focus is on the fact that I’ve discovered that each individual has a path to go through in life, and if you decide to walk yours comparing yourself to others in a negative way, you’ll be doing yourself more harm than good. “They that compare themselves with themselves are not wise”, says the scriptures. While we can learn from others, we should never be caught in the web of ungodly comparison. It can paralyze instincts and also make you to see yourself in the moulds of others, and not in your God given mould.

It would therefore be wrong to assume that someone is at an advantage to you all because of how things are working out for them now; because you really don’t know what lies ahead of hem

The truth is that, while keeping relationships, we tend to go through certain phases of life with certain people, even sharing the same experiences with them and making the same choices. However, a time will come when those seemingly same or familiar paths will get to separate (or come back together for some), all because of the different paths designed for each individual to go through in life. There is a proverb that says 20 children cannot play together for 20 years. How true!

It would therefore be wrong to assume that someone is at an advantage to you all because of how things are working out for them now; because you really don’t know what lies ahead of hem in the path they have to go through or what they might have even overcome before getting there. As such, comparing yourself with another person would only do you good, when you consciously make it a positive exercise.

I’ll emphasize positive exercise because the focus would be on how to challenge yourself by what the other person has become or has, or the lessons the person has learnt when they didn’t do it right. Take for example, a colleague who is doing well in business and has prospered. You can whine all day daydreaming about the days you spent together in school – how that you were a better student than him, how you were more spiritual than him (and probably still is), how you had better opportunities than him, and all that. That wouldn’t help you much. What will help is to ask what he has done to get to where he is today. What has he learnt on his way to the top? What are the shortcomings and failures he has learnt from? This is the positive way to challenge yourself to greater heights.

I hope I can exposit further on this in the coming posts.

Happy Independence!

Don’t Just Do It

2008-09-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

I spent a larger part of my August preparing for another diet of my certification exams. That really shouldn’t be the excuse for not posting an article for a while now though, but I am really working on making every post a worthwhile read, so I’d rather miss out on my timing for just that while than post what won’t add value.

In the mean time however I have as usual been learning a number of new things which i look forward to sharing as time goes by.

In life, we often get the option of doing certain things, varying from regular daily activities to periodic ones, seemingly simple to complex or difficult things. These activities would vary for us all, the level of expectation would also vary depending on age, gender, educational achievement, work experience or social affiliation. While pondering on this recently, I’ve come to realise that getting to do some of what is expected of us is a level many need to reach, however, how well it is done along with how timely it is done is also another level.

My initial plan when I started the process to being certified as a Human Resource practitioner was to make it through the stages required of me. Since it was a challenge to attend the tutorials, I basically covered the syllabus on my own, but consoled myself with the fact that if I could make the minimum pass mark I could sail through.

I must confess I’ve been blessed so far with the past 2 diets but on completing this recent one I saw another angle to it. The body managing the certification is a local one, but I have an eye to also go international. I realised that if I attempted to request some form of exemption from the international body, my performance on all courses beyond just making the diet would be probed. So it was no longer about my being certified when I do go through the process, but how well I went through it.

My intention now, is to make sure that for the next and God willing last diet, I’ll study to excel through all the courses, so I can have an edge when I present my results to any foreign association. I won’t limit this drive to only my exams though, I work at making it a standard to work towards excellence and not just a pass mark in all else I do.

On this therefore I challenge all, what is it that you have found necessary to do, don’t just do it, do it real well, so you don’t only prevent the possibility of re-doing it, but you also allow it to speak for you wherever possible.

A Step Ahead

2008-07-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

I’d always been and still remain a supporter of being updated, of being current, and of developing one-self continually but basically being a step ahead.

From time memorial, information has been the factor that takes one a step ahead and keeps one on the cutting edge. Continuous harnessing of information makes you current and abreast of what is going and trends which would likely predict future occurrences. This inevitably gives you an advantage.

Look for someone who is up to date on issues that concern his life and more and you’ll be sure to have found one that is a step ahead of his peers and contemporaries. From certain recent occurrences I’ve come to humbly accept this fact. And I’ve been challenged to remain informed, especially on those topics that affect me the most – the God I serve and what He is saying for the now, family & relationships, and of course finances. This however does not deter my learning more on other life issues as well. I just make sure I keep myself open to continual learning.

Despite my firm position on staying informed, another discovery along this line which further challenged me is not just getting informed but getting it fast and early enough as well as acting on it timely. It won’t be enough in these times to seek to have information, but getting it on time for it to make a significant difference and then acting on it.

Adam happens to know that free food would be available at the newly opened restaurant on the Friday the 13th, Benjamin got to know this on Thursday the 12th, and Caleb however didn’t just know on Thursday but put a reminder to have his lunch there which he made eventually. It’s very clear that the one who is a step ahead here is Caleb, making his timely information on hand work for him.

Information sources abound in numbers, the media, and the internet and of course the people around you. For much life changing information would also come from word of the mouth.
Therefore, to stay steps ahead, I challenge you with this acronym – GETA – Get (Information) Early, Take Action.

Know That End

2008-06-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

As I type this post, I have directly sleeping in front of me a new bundle of joy in my small knit family. I must confess this has been the reason for the delay in updating this blog, since my intent for now is to share at least two new learnings every month. So my apologies for keeping you all in suspense, but sincerely, no apologies for sharing this wonderful news.

At a few minutes past 5 in the morning of the 17th of May, I was safely delivered of our baby boy, and it was indeed some experience. Looking back at the events that took place just before the actual birth, I can say there was indeed another discovery for me that I believe would encourage some of us at this time.

It is easier to labour when we know the reward that awaits us at the
end…
In life I have come to realize that nothing good comes easy – from excelling through school, to being happily married, to getting a good job / keeping a profitable business and even to something as seemingly small as eating a good meal or looking good. There’s usually that “tough” phase that we must just go through. It may be staying up all night to study ahead of an examination or waking up early to be at work or even standing in the kitchen for more than an hour to put together that meal.

The truth is this, when we do know what it is we actually intend to achieve or receive or own at the very end, that ‘tough’ phase is more bearable.

And for me, knowing that I was going to hold and smile on a baby that I could call my own again (in addition to the lovely daughter I already have) was an encouragement through that one and half hour of labour after the water broke. For the mothers reading this post, you’ll definitely agree this is one experience that is not easy to forget or go through however the wonderful reward of a new life coming through you is worth it all.

My encouragement therefore is this; always identify clearly what it is you intend to reach for. It’ll keep you going when it gets tough, when you have to sacrifice some conveniences or luxury of some sort just to get to that end. Keeping also in mind that that ‘labour’ period is only for a limited time.

Taking That Step

2008-05-13T02:14:00.000-07:00

I don’t quite know how to start this post, especially since I have a number of things on my mind that I would love to share. Though I must confess it was not that easy getting behind the system to type this.

It’s a new habit – putting down thoughts to share for many to read. But like a lot of habits and addiction, it starts someday, continues with commitment or dedication of some sort and remains even in the subconscious till it becomes hard to break. I’m believing that FOOTSTEPS will become like that and remain.

Taking steps for many of us in any direction may not be much of a deal, particularly when it’s just walking from one point or place to another. It’s very much different for a toddler though, that has mastered crawling as a movement style and wishes to walk just like everyone else around. There’ll be moments of falling and landing hard on the “bom-bom” but with just the right motivation and consistency in trying, taking those steps, walking and even running eventually become sub-conscious activities.

So I’m ready to take my share of the tripping but have decided to keep getting up and taking those steps to share all I can from my learnings and those of others so that many may be guided, many may be encouraged and many may be enlightened.

On a final note today, I’d say…the truth is many of us have desired to take a step in a certain direction and somehow being unable to even lift our foot to take that step; some have started but not remained consistent, my challenge to you is if this step is towards a worthwhile cause then just take that step. Take time to ponder deeply on what stirred that desire, talk to anyone who shares the same passion or understands the cause, just do whatever you need to let that flame of the desire burn again and then just like me…take that step.

…the best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago, the next best time to do so is today.

My first Step

2007-09-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

Mmmhh…This happens to be my very first post and I’m quite wondering how best to start it, you know how it is when doing something for the first time. You want it to be all nice, all memorable, so I’m trying to do that…

Okay let me confess that I’ve noticed that of late I say a lot of “truth is…”, so please do not be too alarmed seeing that often on Footsteps.

So…truth is I almost fought doing this. I believe strongly that there must be a logical reason at least when you take a step. When a number of my good friends started to open their blog pages or is it blogger? I was asked then when I’d start. I felt it’d be wrong starting ‘cos everyone was doing so. However I purposed that when I’m certain I had something to share and many of it, or rather the area I’d like to focus on and add value to others, then I would start.

Sometime at the end of August '07, the nudging came and the ideas came rushing in an overwhelming way and I had to agree I was close to my launch of a blog.

I feel honored to have this privilege to post a few lines regularly and would just use this opportunity to say my focus would be on what I have learnt, what I have discovered, and maybe sometimes what others have learnt. I will try not to make it too long especially since I know how it is seeing a long post and having so many others to still read.

I’d appreciate comments, views but would be really blessed to know my posts have helped others.

So on this official launch of Footsteps, I welcome you all, as I reveal my learnings, my discoveries and leave them like footsteps in the sands of time.

P.S – I eventually put myself together for this launch to coincide with my birthday this year especially as it’s a major milestone in my life… more on this in subsequent posts.